DO

I needed to read this today. I'm a dreamer and need to start being more of a DOer. How about you?

Wife Wisdoms

WIFE WISDOMS
(Just a few things I've picked up in my short 4+ years of marriage)

1. Get dressed up for your husband. Men are visual. That doesn't change after marriage so look nice for your man!
2. Greet your husband when he comes home from work. It makes your man feel like he was missed and that you're happy to have him home!
3. Pray for your husband. You are his partner. Cover him in prayer. satan will attack your marriage if he has the chance so be praying for him and your marriage.
4. Initiate intimacy. Men usually take the role in this and it'll make him feel special to know that you desire him just as much as he desires you.
5. Take interest in his interests. As weird as it is, Jacob and I got closer once I started watching football with him. He responded really positively and now it's fun for the both of us. 
6. Don't initiate deep conversations as soon as he comes home from work. It took me a while to master this one. He is tired when he comes home and men can only concentrate on one thing at a time, lol, so let him rest and then talk. 
7. Keep a Clean house! I only worked for the first 8 months of our marriage and have stayed at home ever since. So, this may be more for the SAHM/Wife. But if your husbands going to work then you need to make sure he comes home to a clean house. Don't add more to his plate.
8. A home cooked meal goes a long ways!
9. If your husband is in ministry...Be involved!
10. NEVER talk bad about your husband EVER. 

Don't Get Burned

( I had thought of today's post three nights ago and hadn't talked to Josie about it and then she posts "Fire" yesterday. After reading it I thought I'd blog about something a little different but then I thought "Maybe God's talking to someone?" So, I decided to continue with this post...)


A couple nights ago, my back muscles were hurting really badly and my husband suggested I go take a hot shower. I got in the shower and turned the water to warm. I stood there for a minute, after my body temperature adjusted I turned the water to a little hotter. It was really hot but I stood there anyways. After a while, my body adjusted to that temperature too and so I made the water a little hotter. I did this until I couldn't turn the faucet anymore. While standing there, I got a thought: "Wow, this is a lot like sin." We start off small and after a while we get comfortable, so we have to go a little further in that sin to "feel something again". Then we get comfortable there and have to go even further. It's an endless cycle. For example: You steal a piece of gum from the store. It felt good and you didn't get caught so you do it a few more times. Then you wonder "can I steal that shirt?" So you do. You don't get caught. You do it a few more times. Then you wonder "can I steal that car?" So you do. You don't get caught...on and on and on. That may be a lame example but you get the picture.

We need to quench the flame of sin immediately; as soon as it ignites in our life. Don't get comfortable in your sin, it will only burn you in the long run.

True repentance brings about immediate forgiveness. God's grace and mercy is available to you. He loves you. If you've been struggling with a certain sin, give it over to the Lord. His arms are strong enough to carry your burdens and your struggles. He already nailed that sin to the cross, so give it over to Him. There was this band called "Solomon's Wish" and they sang this great song called "Fireside". I have kept that image in my head since I first heard it years and years ago. The Lord is just waiting for us to return to Him; waiting with outstretched arms. Do not be ashamed or feel like you don't deserve His love. He loved you while you were still a sinner.

Fire

This weekend at my work was really busy and we ran out of bar mops. (In case you don't know, they are cleaning rags kept around found prep areas to keep everything clean and sanitary). My first instinct was, we need these rags, so even if I have to wash them myself, that is what I am going to do. (usually our accommodations team washes them for us, but they weren't in) We have this area for guest laundry that is right behind our Coffeehouse, so I thought that would be the perfect place since it was close. I loaded up the machine, poured in the detergent and let them wash away. No problems. I came back and threw them in the dryer. As I was waiting, it was communicated to me that our accommodations team washes the bar mops a special way because they are flammable due to all the grease from our grill areas. Oh my gosh! I flew into the laundry room and sure enough there was smoke pouring out of the dryer and clouding up the building. Even though it could have been a bad situation, it ended up fine.

Why am I telling you this? I think our lives can look a lot like a bar mop. Along the way we may get a little tattered or torn. We pick up some of the dirt of the world as we go through this life. Sometimes actions, behaviors, or conditions of our heart, that can't always be seen by the human eye, make us ready to burst into flames at any given moment. They can be deadly to us. To our relationship with Christ. To our relationship with others. Given the right circumstances, word spoken to us, or the simple fact that we are continuing in sin, can cause us to burst into flames at any time, much like the bar mop. We must examine ourselves daily and see what "flammable" thing(s) we are allowing into our lives. We must pray against  temptations and weaknesses of our flesh. They usually start out small, and unseen like the grease, but over time they become larger and more destructible. 

Much like our accommodations team handles the bar mops, we need to be washed in a special way. We are delicate and fragile. We must come to our Father and allow Him to cleanse us. This is not meant to condemn you, but free you. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Much like I did that day, I pray that you examine your heart and life. If we want to be women that are pleasing to God, we must live holy lives. 



Happiness

 We are people which mean we are flawed. At times we hurt each other and others hurt us. On the same hand, our relationships give us the deepest meaning in our lives. Life is full of joyous moments such as living out God's call for your life and seeing Him work in crazy ways, the birth of a child, marrying the love of your life, or meaningful conversations with close friends. However, it is filled with terrible things too. Some things that we would never expect. Divorce. Abuse. Sickness. Broken Relationships. Wherever you are right now, look beyond the imperfection. Look to perfection, your Heavenly Father, who loves you far more than you will ever know. That is where you will find happiness. 

What are your thoughts on this quote?

Xmen

My husband and I watched X-MEN today. I have a nerd side to me and enjoy these movies and thought of this post. 

In Greek, the X stands for Christ. It's the reason some people say "Merry Xmas!" So, go with me here:

We are X-men. 

stay with me

CHRIST-Men...ahem* Christ-women! 

We are the aliens, the mutants if you will, of this world. We do not belong. We're different. This applies to everyone who has accepted Christ as their Savior and live for Him. 

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." ~ 1 Peter 2:11

We are at war; daily. We have a real enemy out there whose passion is to see that Christians fall and that non-Christians never become one. 

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." ~ 1 Peter 5:8

We have to be on our guard daily. Taking up our spiritual armor and be ready for any temptation and trial that comes our way. 

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." ~ Ephesians 6:11

So today, guard yourself with Scripture and Prayer. We are Christ-women; Christians. I am proud to say that. And I want to be ready for anything this world or the devil throws my way. 

Keys.Locks.Life

Good morning. I hope that the beginning of your week is going well. My prayer is that your eyes are open to how God is moving in your life. Some seasons it can be very apparent {which is where I currently am} and others it can be a lot harder. Wherever you are, I encourage you to press on ladies! I had a different post in mind, but I was led to share something else. In the middle of the night my cell phone alerted me. I usually don't wake up for these things, but it must have been important. It was a ministry update from my former co-worker and friend Ash. She is currently doing The World Race in which she serves in 11 different countries in 11 months. She is currently in month 5 serving in Cambodia. Ash is an amazing lady who loves the Lord. She is full of life and is an inspiration to me. Her update spoke straight to my heart, so I thought I'd share it with you ladies:

It all came to me when I spent 4 minutes trying to unlock this door. 

The combination of the hot and humid weather, and me just biking there, made me feel super anxious to get inside to the one osculating fan in my classroom. 

You know what happens with keys and locks when you are impatient. I was trying over and over the 3 keys I have because they all look alike. "Nope not that one, okay not that one, it has to be this one. Really? Okay I'll try this one again. What the heck! Maybe it was that one. Are you kidding me right now!"

After 4 mins (which seamed like 10) of trying and trying, with sweat starting to run, I had to take a step back. 

It made me think. How often in my life have I thought I knew which key it was? When that didn't work I tried another one, then another one. Trying with my own will to fix the problem, to open the door to what I wanted, to get results by using my own logic and reasoning. 

God has been breaking me of myself. 

Reminding me that even though I want to do everything, sometimes I need to take a step back, take a deep breath and let God do the work. I need to hand the keys over instead of getting impatient and trying to do it myself. I keep thinking, no I've got it God. I can do this one, let me keep trying.  He keeps reminding me that I can keep trying but it might just be easier if I take a step back and let Him. You know that whole let go and let God? Yeah God is taking me through that again. It's not that I do it on purpose, I know God doesn't need my help, I just like doing things. But by me trying to "do things" in my own strength and my own will, I am basically being silly, standing there trying key after key after key when God is telling me "Ash...Ash, take a step back... I've got the key."

Pray that I can let go of trying to do things from my own strength and let God.

Love, 

Ash

This is so simple but true. I don't know about you, but I can relate. Are there any areas of your life that you know which key it is? Could God be asking you to let go? Please pray for Ash as she continues on her journey. If you would like to hear more of her story or track her progress here is the address to her blog ashgarcia.theworldrace.org



the Hair Dare

We all know about the "Mommy jean" and that we should all stay away from them BUT what about the "Mommy haircut"??

Mommy haircut?! What's that? Well, I don't really know what it looks like but I know I've had it! It's the look that says "I'm a mommy, I'm tired, and I don't care about my looks right now." (Maybe not looks...but hair) SO, you lovely mom's: why do we do this? I know it's hard to put a lot of effort into our appearance when you're taking care of a little one. Trust me, I have two...but you know what else I have? I have one amazing husband. Now, my children do not care what I look like. They're going to love and adore me no matter what the state of my hair is. My husband will too but he will notice. He will also appreciate it if I'm making an effort to look my best for him. You see, I was reminded this week that when we're dating our men, we always want to look our best. When Jacob and I were dating I don't think I ever purposefully let him see me looking grungy. Now that we're married and have kids, he sees that side of me a lot. I know he loves it when I put effort into my appearance. It's not just for me but for him too. SO, the point of all this is......

DO YOUR HAIR! My sister and I used to say that if your hair looked good, it didn't matter what you were wearing, you looked good! I'm not sure how true that is but it's one step you can do to look like a mommy who cares about herself too.

So, the HAIR DARE: For one week mama's, wake up and DO YOUR HAIR. Style it, go get it cut or dyed, just do something nice with it! I know not all moms struggle with the "mommy haircut/style" but you can still have fun with this. Do it even if you're not a mommy~ have fun with it! There's a GREAT blog called http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/   and there you can find SO many cute hair tutorials. Try some out.

P.S. Just for fun, I googled "mommy hair" and this picture came up:

I don't know about you, but I have some girlfriends who could totally pull this off. Have great weekend ladies. 

Fashion Diaries

Have you ever been inspired by an outfit of a celebrity, a friend, or maybe someone on the street? Or have you ever seen a single article of clothing and your mind races with outfit possibilities? Have you ever felt your mood change based on what you were wearing? Is there an outfit that you have seen that has completely challenged your perceptions of fashion? These things happen to me daily. I absolutely love fashion and how it can say so much and make you feel so much. I want to share with you some of my recent fashion inspirations.

Last week when I was in Vegas, my friend and I did a little window shopping at the Bellagio. It is basically the equivalent of 5th Avenue in New York. I saw this beautiful dress in the window of the Burberry store. I was taken back by the structure on the front of the dress. It is a little hard to see here, but is was so beautiful. I feel like the construction of this dress would flatter any girl. 

Photo Credit

Have any of you ladies checked out the Jason Wu collection at Target?! Amazing! I love it when Target does these affordable collections with incredible designers. {It is my prayer one day that Betsey Johnson will do one} Look at this dress.

The color scheme is brilliant and it is so fun and flirty. I could imagine wearing several different colored nylons with this and a fun pair of yellow shoes to match the belt. 

Something that has challenged my perceptions of fashion lately has been the pink and red trend. I remember seeing someone walking through our hotel lobby and thinking, "What is she wearing?" I stopped in my tracks and instantly goggled red and pink (remember how I told you I google everything?) to see if I was missing something, and sure enough it is a hot trend. Look at all these ladies in red and pink.

Sidenote: I LOVE Emma Stone

So ladies you are probably thinking, what does this have to do with me? Well to you, I say a lot.  Fashion is all around us. It is unavoidable. What you chose to wear is an expression of yourself. It says a lot about you and how you feel about yourself. I don't believe that you should spend a ton of money chasing after the latest fashions, because that is silly. I do think though, it is important to develop a personal style that makes you look good and feel good about yourself. There is nothing wrong with investing in your appearance (as long as it doesn't become an idol in your life). I also challenge you to take risks. Try something new and unexpected every now and then. The key to looking good is having confidence in yourself! I have heard so many girls say I could never wear that. If you believe that, then it is true because you were feel uncomfortable and people will sense that. So the next time you are inspired by an outfit or someone's personal style, take note and give it a try.

What are a couple of words that describe your personal style? What words do you wish described your personal style?

LOVE, true Love

WUV, TRUE WUV....

(hehe, I couldn't help myself)

This is TRUE LOVE.  

Think about the people we claim to love. Is this what our love looks like? Think about how we're supposed to love each other, even the people who are extremely hard to love. Is this what it looks like? 

When we confront someone in love does the other person see this in our words and actions?

I love this verse. It's something we should all be considering daily because we love on people daily. 

Hope your week is going great!

Happy Valentines Day

The greatest Valentine you'll ever receive can be found in Scripture; where God wrote us so the most amazing love letters ever written. Let God romance you into a deeper relationship with Him by reading those love letters.

We should all be spending time reading our Bibles. It's so important. If you're having a hard time getting into Scripture there are so many devotionals and guides to help. My husband and I are reading the Bible in Chronological order. It's really fun.

So get to know your Savior better and find out more about what He thinks of you. Dig deep into Scripture. It's the greatest love story you'll ever read and how amazing that you're apart of it. Have a GREAT Valentines Day ladies.

Respond in Love

I am convinced one of the keys to being successful in life is in the way we respond. There are some a lot of situations in life that we can't control. Often times, those situations get people down and they become victims of their circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of hard, ugly things in the world, some I have experienced and others I have not, so I don't want to come off sounding insensitive. However, I know that there is a God that is so much BIGGER than any of those things. I know that His love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8) This verse never said that love covers a multitude of your sins. It covers the sins of you, but also those who have sinned against you. It can cover the most evil things we can imagine (or don't have to imagine).

Where does that leave us? In our response. We can respond to our situations with anger, sadness, bitterness, hopelessness, unforgiveness, hate, jealousy, or pride (just to name a few). When we chose to respond this way, we are only hurting ourselves. I am not saying it is wrong to experience these emotions temporarily, but we must chose not to live in them. We must chose to allow God to heal our hearts of these things. To transform us to be people who respond in love. With the love of Christ. The type of love that is unconditional, everlasting. 

How does that play out in our day to day lives? There are many ways that this can look but I think that Colossians 3:12-14 describes it well, "Therefore, as God's chose people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I love how this verse says put on love which implies it is a choice. It doesn't mean that it is easy or that it doesn't require a conscious effort to love someone. It means we must chose to love someone through the filter in which Jesus chose to love us {wasn't that while we were sinners}? 

These verses are so challenging. They cause me to see my own weakness. They cause me to pray for change if my own life and heart. How do they affect you?

PS- If you haven't already, make sure that you read our Giveaway Post. This is the last day to enter. 

Valentine's Day Giveaway

So the other night I was googling the top Valentine's Day gifts to get yourself {Side note: I literally google everything. Seriously, everything} As I was doing this, one of the options were these adorable rings located at the Bella Star Glam store on Etsy.

Right away I knew that this needed to be our first giveaway. Unless you are getting diamonds or pearls, what girl wouldn't love to have a cute, fun ring for Valentine's Day?! 

To enter the contest visit the Bella Star Glam store and comment below letting us know which ring is your favorite. {If your favorite is the same as mine, you get a double entry} Just kidding! However, if you also comment on our That Girl's facebook page your name will be entered twice. You have until 5pm (PST) Monday, February 13th to enter the contest. I will announce the winner later that evening! Thank you for all of your support.

Viva Las Vegas

This past weekend I was blessed to have a Girls Weekend with one of my closest friends in Las Vegas. I know, I know Las Vegas?! We both aren't Las Vegas type girls, but a family friend of hers paid for the trip and it was incredible {despite being entirely opposite of our expectations, but that is a different story}. 

The whole experience really made me think.  Las Vegas is extremely overwhelming in every sense of the word. Every type of sin is staring you in the face: lust, gluttony, pride, love of money and material possessions, drunkenness, lies, adultery, etc. I got up early one morning and was sitting in our room that overlooked a good portion of the city. As I was praying for the city, the people that lived in it, and the people that visited, it hit me. Las Vegas is not different than any other place. Sure, the sin may be more noticeable and glamorized, but sin is everywhere. These people are just like you and me. They are broken. They are searching for the next thing to satisfy them and all of those things just happen to be contained in one place. 

I think that CS Lewis' Quote sums it up perfectly

We were not made for this world, but another. Nothing in this world is going to satisfy us. So often we search for things to fill the void in us, that can only be filled through Jesus until we make it to our true home, Heaven. Paul talks about this in Philippians 3:20, "For our citizenship is in Heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;"

So ladies, let's not give up and settle for temporary satisfaction but continue to hope and pray for the true satisfaction that we will experience one day. 

What are some things that you may be using to temporarily satisfy you? Are those things getting in the way of your relationship with God?

Breakfast at Tiffanys

Audrey Hepburn was (and still is) a style icon. She was an elegant, graceful woman. I wish there were more movie stars like Aubrey Hepburn today. Her soul was just as beautiful as her. 

What part of this quote resonates with you?

Know Thyself

When I hear "Know Thyself" I immediately think of Oedipus Rex. But no worries, we are not going to be discussing Oedipus and his Greek tragedy today. But we are going to look into "Know Thyself".

Do you know you?

What makes you stand out in a crowd? What makes you cringe inside? What makes your heart skip a beat? What's something quirky and fun about you? What makes you cry? What are your passions? Who are you?
Recently I've gotten to know myself better and there were a lot of surprises. I think I started to "rediscover" myself. Here are some things I've personally learned about myself just lately:

I am really down to earth.
I treasure modesty in myself and other Christian women.
I really care about education.
I had closed my heart to foreign missions.

I challenge you this week to get to know yourself and to really think about who you are.
It's important to know you. How can we accomplish our goals, truly make positive changes, have true relationships, be vulnerable, make an impact, or have real confidence if we do not really know ourselves? Take some time to discover the wonder and beauty that God gave you when He made you, you! If you don't know where to begin, start with prayer for a clear and open heart. Sometimes looking at our reflections may not be the funnest thing.

"Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character.  Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul."  ~Author Unknown

CHALLENGE:  I recently asked my friends on facebook to describe me.
This is a fun way to also see how others see you. Maybe it's a good place to start in discovering new and deeper things about you. Try it and let us know what you discover.

Love and Healing

Have you ever had a moment when you thought, "That really didn't happen, did it?" I recently had one, a BIG one. This story is extremely personal, but I believe by being vulnerable about it, it could provide healing for some of you.

Last week I was flying home to attend a funeral of someone I loved dearly I was sitting in my seat with my daughter on my lap and my jaw almost hit the ground when I saw who boarded. No ladies, it wasn't the glam Tyra Banks. It wasn't the amazing designer Betsey Johnson. It was the wife of my ex-fiancé and their children. The girl that he got pregnant when we were suppose to get married. This is something I am completely healed of but this is the first time I saw her since all of this happened eight years ago. A flood of emotions came back all at once.

The thing that stuck out to me the most was the contrast of how broke my heart was eight years ago when this happened compared to where I am at now in my life. I couldn't help but praise God for how he transformed me and healed me.

For a very long time I was angry, depressed, and hated all men. I didn't trust anyone and was convinced I would never love again or get married. To say the least, my heart was hard. I acted out of that hurt and hurt others. I would go on dates just to be able to reject the person at the end.

When I decided to lift my eyes up to Jesus instead of focusing on all the way that I had been wronged, he started the process of healing my heart. It was a long, slow road. It involved many setbacks and tears before I came to peace with it.

Today I am married to the most wonderful Godly man. He loves me well and always offers me grace. I trust him completely and I know he will always protect my heart.

First, I want to speak to the broken hearted ladies. Don't give up on love. Always hope. Allow God to heal your heart. Don't blame yourself. Lift you eyes to the greatest Comforter and allow him to soften your heart. It will be painful at times, but will produce wonderful results.

The next thing is for the married ladies. If you have a wonderful husband, be thankful for him. Let him know how amazing he is. Pray for him, your marriage, and your family. Support him in his ministry and be his biggest cheerleader. Be quick to forgive and to apologize.

PASSION

Well ladies, what are you passionate about? I mean REALLY passionate about?! Is it your job, your ministry, your family, a cause, evangelism? Whatever it is, are you pursuing it? Are you following your passions to then be a huge asset to whatever or whoever it is you're giving your full drive to?

Maybe you're really passionate about something but don't know how or where to begin. For me, I am really passionate about women's ministry; mainly on helping young women feel confident in Christ and not the standards society places on us. I felt really inadequate to do anything in this area for a long time. I felt like I didn't have a voice. Thankfully, God does and He is more than willing to speak through me. So, the first step that I've chosen in following this passion is getting my degree in Women's Ministry. Also, doing this blog.

We have to get our feet wet. Jump in. Smack down all those doubts and fears. One of my favorite songs right now is from the musical Wicked: "Defying Gravity". (love the Glee version)

Take a chance! Don't let time pass by any longer if you're not pursuing your passions.

God's given us all different talents and gifts to be used! USE THEM GIRLS!

I hope this was encouraging to someone who may be feeling like they're going no where or are scared to make a move. Move honey! You've gotta take those first steps in order to take off and soar!

What Type of Shoe Are You

I absolutely love this quote! I love how something as simple as a shoe can be magical at times. Shoot, look what a pair of shoes did for little Miss Cinderella. There are days that I am feeling blah and I throw on my favorite pair of red leather cowboy boots with sparkly buckles and I suddenly become more confident.  However, it really isn't the shoe that is magical, the key is how we view ourselves. 

My closet is full of many wonderful shoes:

Metallic Green Stilettos

Round Toe Pumps

Two Toned Open Toe Wedges

Classy Black Heels

Red Leather Cowboy Boots

Floral Wedges

Cream Kitten Heels

Lime Green and Pink Tennis Shoes

Polka Dot Rain Boots

Some of you are probably thinking, What does her closet have to do with how we view ourselves? We are all like the shoes in my closet. We are all created uniquely with different purposes. It would be silly of me to jump in mud puddles {which I totally recommend doing whenever possible} wearing my Metallic Green Stilettos. However, that is so often how we view other peoples' gifts and talents. We take their uniqueness and want it for ourselves; in turn, we so easily overlook what makes us stand out. Ladies, learn to embrace yourself for the way that you were created and live it out. If you are a pair of Metallic Green Stilettos go out there and shine!