Good Friday

WE REMEMBER LORD.

Color Blind?... A Mother's Heart

If we believe what the Bible says, then we are all uniquely made God. We are shaped for the purposes He has for our lives. With that being said, I believe that I have been designed to share this message with all of you. At work I was required to take a test about unique strengths and one of top strengths was indivuidualism. This means that I love the individual, unique qualitites of each person. I do not like it when people conform and believe that differences should be celebrated. Unfortunately, I have been reminded by the media lately, that there are a lot of people that don't feel this way. There still is a lot of progress to be made in regards to acceptance of others that are different from us. As a parent of interracial children, I plead with you to be a parent, mentor, or person that educates people about not only race but people that are different than you, your family, and your kids.

I want to start off by saying that it is never too early to start talking to your kids about the differences of people. There are several ways to go about doing this well.

Talk to your kids about how great of an artist God is and how he has created so many different types of people. How He loves us all the same. One of the biggest mistakes that parents of non-minority children make {in regards to race} is not talking to their children about it because they think their kids are color blind. Studies have proven that children start developing attitudes about race earlier then we think, normally around the age of five. It is better to proactive in these situations and set positive examples. If not, kids listen to others around them, TV, and the internet to form their own opinions.

Make sure that magazines, books, and shows that you select have diversity within in them. Talk about the children. Educate yourself about the cultures of other people and share those with your kids.

Studies show that one of the most important things that you can do for your child regarding race is to place them {and yourselves} in multicultural settings and relationships. Experts say the number one thing that challenges stereotypes is relationships.

Every night since my babies were little I sing them two songs. Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves the Little Children of the World. The lyrics are so simple yet so powerful and if more people truly believed them the world would be a better place:

Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white they are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Wednesday Reminder

I saw this on pinterest and laughed. Just a nice Wednesday reminder to remind you that it's a powerful thing being a woman. We are the crown of Creation. Remember to use your womanhood for the Glory of God and be great at whatever you do! 

Are you believing lies?

What has the world said about you?
You're not pretty enough? You're too skinny? You're too fat? You're not smart? You've failed too many times? You're not as athletic? You're not a good wife? Not a good mother?

What lie or lies do you carry around on those shoulders? What weighs down your heart?

What is it that is blocking you from reaching your goals, following your dreams, and being the very best version of yourself that you can possibly be?

Here's the thing ladies: satan lies. he will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to keep you burdened, weighed down, lost, depressed, and feeling lonely. Are we believing the things the world has thrust upon us? Let's stop. You have control of how you act, how you feel. Remember that there is an absolute truth out there and that is that you are WORTHY. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are INTELLIGENT. You have STRENGTH.

Ladies, we are only given this one life: ONE! And as I was sadly reminded this week by a friend who lost a close family member, you never know how long this ONE life is. What are you doing with yours? Are you wearing around lies and letting them direct your choices? Or are you remembering that God created you in His perfect image and with a great purpose? You are no mistake dear sister!

Let's live in the truth. We are beautiful women who serve the ultimate Beauty; our Lord Jesus Christ. Cast your burdens, doubts, and rejections on Him. Live ladies! Live life to the fullest and live it for Him!

Daily Reminders

1. Most Important in Life- Jesus:

Make sure you're remembering who the most important person in your life is. It's Christ. Do your best to please Him and everyone else will fall into place!

2. Most Beautiful Attire- a Smile:

I think this is very true. A smile goes a long ways! It not only will make you feel good but others will feel good too. Joy is contagious! So spread some with that gorgeous face God blessed you with!

3. Greatest Asset- Faith:

We do not live by a blind faith. Oh no, we have EVERY reason to trust our Heavenly Father and His Word, so trust Him! Don't be stressed or worried. He will be there for you! Have faith in your Savior. He loves you very very very (x's infinity) much!

4. Most Powerful Force- Love:

You can quench conflicts, anger, frustration, disagreements, and so much more with Love. Love can heal and help you grow. It's all because of Love that we get to have a close and personal relationship with our Lord. Love Him and Love others. Love your enemies. It's powerful.

5. Greatest Weapon- Prayer:

YES IT IS! Before you worry or doubt. Before you make a decision. Before you act. Get on those knees and pray sister. We have a direct line to the Father's ears. Talk to Him. Let Him know that you want to spend time with Him, that you trust He is listening and will answer you one way or another. Prayer is key to your relationship with God. You've got to be communicating with Him to grow with Him.

The Announcement

I have a confession to make. I absolutely love college basketball. My husband is probably the luckiest guy in the world because I love it just as much as him. Most other wives get frustrated about March Madness but not this girl. With that being said, last Sunday was known in the college basketball world as Selection Sunday. This is the day that they decide which teams make it into the tournament. This year after Selection Sunday they had an ESPN Special called "The Announcement".

"The Announcement" was about Magic Johnson. For those of you who aren't basketball lovers like me, Magic Johnson was an extremely talented basketball player that spent his career playing for the Los Angeles Lakers. His career came to a halt when he tested positive for HIV. So many things stood out to me when he shared his story that I wanted to share with you.

#1- It absolutely blew me away when he didn't make excuses. He stated that he made foolish decisions, had unprotected sex and that he had no one to blame for his condition other than himself. He never blamed the fame, pressure, influences around him, his childhood, or anything. Something about this was so refreshing for me. He messed up and he owned up.

#2- The biggest thing that stood out to me was his wife's {Cookie} response to the situation. When she found out about her husband, she was pregnant. Of course their fears were aimed at whether Cookie had contracted HIV,  as well as their unborn child. Luckily they had not. I can not begin to imagine what was going through her head or what she felt at that time. She said that she could drive herself crazy with questions and scenarios about how Magic had contracted HIV. That she could spend her life questioning if he cheated on her and about all the other relationships that he may or may not have had with other woman. Instead she chose to love him and not be angry. She chose to walk through this difficult time with him. She chose to be his friend when others were turning their backs on him. It was not temporary or fake either, she is still with him today {20 years later}. What a story of love and forgiveness. 

#3- Despite this difficult circumstance and life long reminder of the bad choices that he made, Magic and his wife chose to make the best of it. They chose to educate the world about the dangers of HIV/AIDS and fight for those who had this terrible disease. He started a foundation in urban communities that provides free resources as well as free HIV/AIDS testing.


Even though Rock the Red Pump is over I encourage you to continue to educated yourselves about HIV/AIDS. I encourage you to pray for those who are dying of this terrible disease and pray for a cure. If you are able, I encourage you to watch "The Announcement" It was incredibly uplifting and encouraging.

fruit on the bottom

I LOVE fruit on the bottom yogurt. It tastes so much better to me than the already mixed kind. I love it. Today as I was eating some for breakfast, and being really excited that we had some, I said out loud "Fruit on the bottom, yum yum yum!" I have a toddler so don't judge me. lol. And then I started thinking about "Fruit on the bottom". It's what is the best part about that yogurt. I wouldn't eat it if it was just plain. I want the fruit!

Now turn it around on us. Where is our fruit?

Are we keeping the best parts at the bottom, where people have to dig and dig to find? Or are we living them out and people know we're Christ followers because they see our fruit? These things are what makes us set apart from the world. We have to practice them, make them habits, and master them. One of the ones that I am working on diligently is Gentleness. It doesn't come natural for me. I have to practice it, make it a habit, and God-willing, master it. I want it to become a part of me. So, let your fruit be visible ladies. It's the best stuff! 

Rock the Red Pump

We mark these days with Red Pump events around the country. These events range from small dinners with friends and family to happy hours, to huge formal events like The Red Pump and Tie Affair. The main goals of these events is to a) raise awareness about the HIV/AIDS crisis by starting conversations and/or b) raising funds for the cause.

Please visit www.RedPump.org to read more information about HIV awareness and how maybe you could get involved. 

And also, remember to rock your red shoes tomorrow. Take a picture and send it to us! 

Lorax Lessons

The Lorax was such an amazing movie. It spoke so much about the human condition. There were themes of greed, power struggles, hope, and redemption all wrapped up in a kids movie {They may have been some strong political tones of environmentalism, but we won't talk about that here today}. I really encourage you to go and see it, or at least read the book to your kids.

There were several part of the movie that I enjoyed but I thought I would share two pieces of wisdom from the Lorax.

"A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean" Such a great reminder about self evaluation. So often we forget that we are in a spiritual battle and the sins and temptations of this world can easily pull our "tree" in all sorts of directions. Which way are you leaning?

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. We need to be people that care about the injustices of this world, because Jesus cared. If we choose not to do something about them, who will? We are to be His hands and feet to those around us. I don't know about you but I want to be someone who cares a whole awful lot.

Have any of you seen The Lorax? What did you think? What parts of the movie did you like or not like?

Beauty

Are you believing the socially constructed ideas of beauty or the truth? The truth says that you are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. Next time you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, ask God to show you what He thinks of you. His opinion is the most important.

he needs you

I know marriage is hard. Anyone who says they have a perfect marriage is lying or at least not being honest with themselves. Good marriages come from hard work, commitment, and the choice you have to make EVERYDAY to put that man before yourself and to love him unconditionally. You promised to when you promised God that you'd stay by his side til death do you part.

So, don't fight today. Don't argue. Don't be annoyed.

Instead...

Go kiss your husband. Tell him you love him. Let him hold you. GO BE HIS WIFE, the woman he looked at on his wedding day with passionate love and promised to be his gem forever.

Our husbands need us ladies. They NEED us. Be the best help mate for him that you can possibly be. Some marriages have a lot more problems that can't be fixed with one heart felt night of working it out. And if it's not possible for you to go kiss your husband and whatever pain is weighing on your marriage is just too hard...PRAY. Pray for him. Pray for change. Pray for strength. Pray for forgiveness. Whatever it is. Pray.

Jacob and I have been reading this book called "Fall In Love, Stay In Love" together before bed. Here's something the author says: "Spouses need to be emotionally reconnected almost on a daily basis to meet each other's most important emotional needs."

So go connect or reconnect. Go love on him sister. He needs you.

Child Like

 He said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like  little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3

Kids' hearts are so beautiful and pure. We can learn a lot from them. They are teachable, willingly dependent, they are not power hungry, and they don't notice (or acknowledge) outward differences. One time God used a little girl to teach me (and I am sure a few other people) a big lesson.

I used to be a Starbucks Barista in New York. There were all different types of people that came in and out of our store, which was one of the reasons that I loved the job. In the mix of people, were a lot of homeless people that lived in the area. My manager always gave them free hot coffee, as long as they brought in their own cup. As you can imagine, this didn't always sit well with some of our well off guests.    One day a homeless man came in that I had never seen before. He was extremely dirty and didn't smell pleasant either. He was larger and had a big white grayish (from the dirt) beard. A little girl and her mom were entering the store as this man was leaving. The little girl's face lit up and she ran over to the man excitedly and wrapped her little arms around his legs. She looked up at him with the biggest smile and said, "Hi Santa!"

You should have seen the look of horror on the mother's face as she was begging her daughter to come back to her and get away from the man. God quickly put me in my place though. He showed me that the look on the mother's face matched the condition of my heart. I may not have outwardly displayed the feelings that she did, but I did on the inside. I quickly repented and even though this situation occurred eight years ago, I still remember this lesson well and think about it often.

Ladies, let's focus on being like children this week in our interactions with others. Especially those that are different then us.

No more yearly goals

I always make New Years Resolutions. ALWAYS! I love goals. I am an ambitious woman....for the first few days and then I sink right back into being lazy or unmotivated. NO MORE! If you're one of these women, let's pretend this is some epic moment like in a movie. Raise your fist in the air and shout "NO MORE!" Ha, all I am seeing in my head is Scarlett O'Hara standing on the fields of Tara saying "As God as my witness, I'll never be hungry again!" Ok, back to the point:

FORGET YEAR RESOLUTIONS. I heard just today that most people have stopped their new years resolutions by the beginning of February. For whatever reason, it's hard to change, to complete a new task, etc. So, let's forget about year resolutions.

How about weekly resolutions or even monthly ones. Go buy a notebook. Composition notebooks are so cool in their own way and they're like less than a $1 at Wal-Mart. Go buy a notebook, use your day timer, your journal, anything to keep track of these goals. WRITE THEM DOWN AND READ OVER THEM DAILY OR WEEKLY. And don't be scared to adjust them if needed.

I've decided that I'm going to do both: weekly and monthly resolutions. For example, one of my resolutions (goals) is to read my Bible more. So, for my weekly resolutions, I want to have read a book of the Bible. A monthly resolution of mine is to go try something new: a new restaurant, talking to a stranger, swimming in a lake where there's possible alligators (lol), etc. You get the idea!

I promise it will help you in becoming more of the woman you desire to be. We need to start smaller sometimes in order to bring about real change. Have fun with it and we'd love to know how well you keep up with your goals.

Not Parenting 101

Based off of Jill's post the other day, I thought it would be fun to share some things that I have learned about being a parent. I am not an expert. Trust me. I am definitely not one of those moms who is handing out advice left and right, because I do not feel like that is my place. *See the tip below for dealing with people like this. This is just a little list of things that have helped me and I hope that they can help you...

#1-If you need your house to be messy, let it be messy. Trying to clean with kids is the equivalent of shoveling snow while it is still snowing. Pointless. I am not telling you not to pick up throughout the day but wait until your kids are in bed before you do any major cleaning. I don't know about you, but I would rather play with my kids for fifteen extra minutes then do a sink full of dirty dishes while they hang on my leg the entire time screaming for attention.

#2- Be quick to apologize. I overreact sometimes, like really overreact. One of my kids may spill something and I yell at them (as if they intentionally did it to make me angry). I use times like these to show my kids that even mommy makes mistakes. I tell them that I love them and I am sorry that I treated them in a bad way. This teaches kids that it is okay to make mistakes and how to handle them, when they do.

#3- Give kids choices. For as many things as I can (when time isn't urgent) I like to give my kids choices. It may be silly things like the shirt they want to wear or more important decisions like the main course for lunch. I want them to realize at an early age that they have a say in life. That they can think for themselves.

#4-Don't buy that toy for your kid. Seriously. Put it back on the shelf. I can not tell you how many toys my kids have (thankfully, mostly purchased by other people). The majority of them they don't even play with. What I have done with my kids is I will buy them things we can do together. Sometimes I buy them stuff to make cookies, markers, glitter, glue, paper, and things we can use to create. They enjoy the time together and it becomes a very special, memorable time.

#5-Sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to eat dessert first or throw a party or theme day for no reason. Kids have crazy imaginations and some days they may need to dress as a pirate or princess and eat cupcakes before dinner.

#6-One of the best pieces of advice I got was from my pediatrician. I was really stressed out because I couldn't get my son to eat anything. When my son was a baby he ate anything and everything, so this was extremely frustrating. My pediatrician said, "Give the kid a multivitamin. When he wants to eat, he will eat." I can't tell you how huge that was for me! Trust me, I want my kids to be healthy eaters but I believe it will work itself out. Food fights are not a battle we choose to have in our house anymore. Plus, I sneak spinach into my kids' smoothies :)

#7-So what about those rude people who feel like it is necessary to give unwanted parenting advice? I found that it is helpful to politely say, "Oh my goodness, I didn't realize I was holding your child, I thought this was my kid." It gets the point across quickly! I don't feel like this is the right answer for everyone, but these are for those especially trying people.

#8-Milestones. As we parent, we look to the next step in our child's development and tend to push them towards it. With my second child, I realized I needed to embrace her development and not compare her to other children her age. Each child is so unique and has their own path. Just as we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people, we should not do that with our children.

#9- Develop traditions. Traditions are an awesome way to set expectations with your kid. One of my favorite traditions is our bedtime routine with our son. We read "I'll Love You Forever" every night (which if you don't have that book, you must buy it). After we read, I ask Moses what he wants to say thank you to Jesus for. He always gives one ridiculously silly response and one deep one. It shows me what he values and cares for.

#10-Teaching my kids is important but it is more important to me that they know how to play. I use to get frustrated because my son couldn't remember colors. It seemed like the more we talked about them, the more he forgot what they were. One day, I realized that at some point and time in life he will learn what color is green. It really isn't that big of a deal. Now as we are building blocks he excitedly screams out the colors and I laugh about all the times that I got frustrated.

What are some parenting tips that you practice or have been valuable to you and your family?

DO

I needed to read this today. I'm a dreamer and need to start being more of a DOer. How about you?

Wife Wisdoms

WIFE WISDOMS
(Just a few things I've picked up in my short 4+ years of marriage)

1. Get dressed up for your husband. Men are visual. That doesn't change after marriage so look nice for your man!
2. Greet your husband when he comes home from work. It makes your man feel like he was missed and that you're happy to have him home!
3. Pray for your husband. You are his partner. Cover him in prayer. satan will attack your marriage if he has the chance so be praying for him and your marriage.
4. Initiate intimacy. Men usually take the role in this and it'll make him feel special to know that you desire him just as much as he desires you.
5. Take interest in his interests. As weird as it is, Jacob and I got closer once I started watching football with him. He responded really positively and now it's fun for the both of us. 
6. Don't initiate deep conversations as soon as he comes home from work. It took me a while to master this one. He is tired when he comes home and men can only concentrate on one thing at a time, lol, so let him rest and then talk. 
7. Keep a Clean house! I only worked for the first 8 months of our marriage and have stayed at home ever since. So, this may be more for the SAHM/Wife. But if your husbands going to work then you need to make sure he comes home to a clean house. Don't add more to his plate.
8. A home cooked meal goes a long ways!
9. If your husband is in ministry...Be involved!
10. NEVER talk bad about your husband EVER. 

Don't Get Burned

( I had thought of today's post three nights ago and hadn't talked to Josie about it and then she posts "Fire" yesterday. After reading it I thought I'd blog about something a little different but then I thought "Maybe God's talking to someone?" So, I decided to continue with this post...)


A couple nights ago, my back muscles were hurting really badly and my husband suggested I go take a hot shower. I got in the shower and turned the water to warm. I stood there for a minute, after my body temperature adjusted I turned the water to a little hotter. It was really hot but I stood there anyways. After a while, my body adjusted to that temperature too and so I made the water a little hotter. I did this until I couldn't turn the faucet anymore. While standing there, I got a thought: "Wow, this is a lot like sin." We start off small and after a while we get comfortable, so we have to go a little further in that sin to "feel something again". Then we get comfortable there and have to go even further. It's an endless cycle. For example: You steal a piece of gum from the store. It felt good and you didn't get caught so you do it a few more times. Then you wonder "can I steal that shirt?" So you do. You don't get caught. You do it a few more times. Then you wonder "can I steal that car?" So you do. You don't get caught...on and on and on. That may be a lame example but you get the picture.

We need to quench the flame of sin immediately; as soon as it ignites in our life. Don't get comfortable in your sin, it will only burn you in the long run.

True repentance brings about immediate forgiveness. God's grace and mercy is available to you. He loves you. If you've been struggling with a certain sin, give it over to the Lord. His arms are strong enough to carry your burdens and your struggles. He already nailed that sin to the cross, so give it over to Him. There was this band called "Solomon's Wish" and they sang this great song called "Fireside". I have kept that image in my head since I first heard it years and years ago. The Lord is just waiting for us to return to Him; waiting with outstretched arms. Do not be ashamed or feel like you don't deserve His love. He loved you while you were still a sinner.

Fire

This weekend at my work was really busy and we ran out of bar mops. (In case you don't know, they are cleaning rags kept around found prep areas to keep everything clean and sanitary). My first instinct was, we need these rags, so even if I have to wash them myself, that is what I am going to do. (usually our accommodations team washes them for us, but they weren't in) We have this area for guest laundry that is right behind our Coffeehouse, so I thought that would be the perfect place since it was close. I loaded up the machine, poured in the detergent and let them wash away. No problems. I came back and threw them in the dryer. As I was waiting, it was communicated to me that our accommodations team washes the bar mops a special way because they are flammable due to all the grease from our grill areas. Oh my gosh! I flew into the laundry room and sure enough there was smoke pouring out of the dryer and clouding up the building. Even though it could have been a bad situation, it ended up fine.

Why am I telling you this? I think our lives can look a lot like a bar mop. Along the way we may get a little tattered or torn. We pick up some of the dirt of the world as we go through this life. Sometimes actions, behaviors, or conditions of our heart, that can't always be seen by the human eye, make us ready to burst into flames at any given moment. They can be deadly to us. To our relationship with Christ. To our relationship with others. Given the right circumstances, word spoken to us, or the simple fact that we are continuing in sin, can cause us to burst into flames at any time, much like the bar mop. We must examine ourselves daily and see what "flammable" thing(s) we are allowing into our lives. We must pray against  temptations and weaknesses of our flesh. They usually start out small, and unseen like the grease, but over time they become larger and more destructible. 

Much like our accommodations team handles the bar mops, we need to be washed in a special way. We are delicate and fragile. We must come to our Father and allow Him to cleanse us. This is not meant to condemn you, but free you. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Much like I did that day, I pray that you examine your heart and life. If we want to be women that are pleasing to God, we must live holy lives. 



Happiness

 We are people which mean we are flawed. At times we hurt each other and others hurt us. On the same hand, our relationships give us the deepest meaning in our lives. Life is full of joyous moments such as living out God's call for your life and seeing Him work in crazy ways, the birth of a child, marrying the love of your life, or meaningful conversations with close friends. However, it is filled with terrible things too. Some things that we would never expect. Divorce. Abuse. Sickness. Broken Relationships. Wherever you are right now, look beyond the imperfection. Look to perfection, your Heavenly Father, who loves you far more than you will ever know. That is where you will find happiness. 

What are your thoughts on this quote?

Xmen

My husband and I watched X-MEN today. I have a nerd side to me and enjoy these movies and thought of this post. 

In Greek, the X stands for Christ. It's the reason some people say "Merry Xmas!" So, go with me here:

We are X-men. 

stay with me

CHRIST-Men...ahem* Christ-women! 

We are the aliens, the mutants if you will, of this world. We do not belong. We're different. This applies to everyone who has accepted Christ as their Savior and live for Him. 

"Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul." ~ 1 Peter 2:11

We are at war; daily. We have a real enemy out there whose passion is to see that Christians fall and that non-Christians never become one. 

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." ~ 1 Peter 5:8

We have to be on our guard daily. Taking up our spiritual armor and be ready for any temptation and trial that comes our way. 

"Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes." ~ Ephesians 6:11

So today, guard yourself with Scripture and Prayer. We are Christ-women; Christians. I am proud to say that. And I want to be ready for anything this world or the devil throws my way.