Color Blind?... A Mother's Heart

If we believe what the Bible says, then we are all uniquely made God. We are shaped for the purposes He has for our lives. With that being said, I believe that I have been designed to share this message with all of you. At work I was required to take a test about unique strengths and one of top strengths was indivuidualism. This means that I love the individual, unique qualitites of each person. I do not like it when people conform and believe that differences should be celebrated. Unfortunately, I have been reminded by the media lately, that there are a lot of people that don't feel this way. There still is a lot of progress to be made in regards to acceptance of others that are different from us. As a parent of interracial children, I plead with you to be a parent, mentor, or person that educates people about not only race but people that are different than you, your family, and your kids.

I want to start off by saying that it is never too early to start talking to your kids about the differences of people. There are several ways to go about doing this well.

Talk to your kids about how great of an artist God is and how he has created so many different types of people. How He loves us all the same. One of the biggest mistakes that parents of non-minority children make {in regards to race} is not talking to their children about it because they think their kids are color blind. Studies have proven that children start developing attitudes about race earlier then we think, normally around the age of five. It is better to proactive in these situations and set positive examples. If not, kids listen to others around them, TV, and the internet to form their own opinions.

Make sure that magazines, books, and shows that you select have diversity within in them. Talk about the children. Educate yourself about the cultures of other people and share those with your kids.

Studies show that one of the most important things that you can do for your child regarding race is to place them {and yourselves} in multicultural settings and relationships. Experts say the number one thing that challenges stereotypes is relationships.

Every night since my babies were little I sing them two songs. Jesus Loves Me and Jesus Loves the Little Children of the World. The lyrics are so simple yet so powerful and if more people truly believed them the world would be a better place:

Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white they are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.

The Announcement

I have a confession to make. I absolutely love college basketball. My husband is probably the luckiest guy in the world because I love it just as much as him. Most other wives get frustrated about March Madness but not this girl. With that being said, last Sunday was known in the college basketball world as Selection Sunday. This is the day that they decide which teams make it into the tournament. This year after Selection Sunday they had an ESPN Special called "The Announcement".

"The Announcement" was about Magic Johnson. For those of you who aren't basketball lovers like me, Magic Johnson was an extremely talented basketball player that spent his career playing for the Los Angeles Lakers. His career came to a halt when he tested positive for HIV. So many things stood out to me when he shared his story that I wanted to share with you.

#1- It absolutely blew me away when he didn't make excuses. He stated that he made foolish decisions, had unprotected sex and that he had no one to blame for his condition other than himself. He never blamed the fame, pressure, influences around him, his childhood, or anything. Something about this was so refreshing for me. He messed up and he owned up.

#2- The biggest thing that stood out to me was his wife's {Cookie} response to the situation. When she found out about her husband, she was pregnant. Of course their fears were aimed at whether Cookie had contracted HIV,  as well as their unborn child. Luckily they had not. I can not begin to imagine what was going through her head or what she felt at that time. She said that she could drive herself crazy with questions and scenarios about how Magic had contracted HIV. That she could spend her life questioning if he cheated on her and about all the other relationships that he may or may not have had with other woman. Instead she chose to love him and not be angry. She chose to walk through this difficult time with him. She chose to be his friend when others were turning their backs on him. It was not temporary or fake either, she is still with him today {20 years later}. What a story of love and forgiveness. 

#3- Despite this difficult circumstance and life long reminder of the bad choices that he made, Magic and his wife chose to make the best of it. They chose to educate the world about the dangers of HIV/AIDS and fight for those who had this terrible disease. He started a foundation in urban communities that provides free resources as well as free HIV/AIDS testing.


Even though Rock the Red Pump is over I encourage you to continue to educated yourselves about HIV/AIDS. I encourage you to pray for those who are dying of this terrible disease and pray for a cure. If you are able, I encourage you to watch "The Announcement" It was incredibly uplifting and encouraging.

Lorax Lessons

The Lorax was such an amazing movie. It spoke so much about the human condition. There were themes of greed, power struggles, hope, and redemption all wrapped up in a kids movie {They may have been some strong political tones of environmentalism, but we won't talk about that here today}. I really encourage you to go and see it, or at least read the book to your kids.

There were several part of the movie that I enjoyed but I thought I would share two pieces of wisdom from the Lorax.

"A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean" Such a great reminder about self evaluation. So often we forget that we are in a spiritual battle and the sins and temptations of this world can easily pull our "tree" in all sorts of directions. Which way are you leaning?

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. We need to be people that care about the injustices of this world, because Jesus cared. If we choose not to do something about them, who will? We are to be His hands and feet to those around us. I don't know about you but I want to be someone who cares a whole awful lot.

Have any of you seen The Lorax? What did you think? What parts of the movie did you like or not like?

Child Like

 He said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like  little children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew 18:3

Kids' hearts are so beautiful and pure. We can learn a lot from them. They are teachable, willingly dependent, they are not power hungry, and they don't notice (or acknowledge) outward differences. One time God used a little girl to teach me (and I am sure a few other people) a big lesson.

I used to be a Starbucks Barista in New York. There were all different types of people that came in and out of our store, which was one of the reasons that I loved the job. In the mix of people, were a lot of homeless people that lived in the area. My manager always gave them free hot coffee, as long as they brought in their own cup. As you can imagine, this didn't always sit well with some of our well off guests.    One day a homeless man came in that I had never seen before. He was extremely dirty and didn't smell pleasant either. He was larger and had a big white grayish (from the dirt) beard. A little girl and her mom were entering the store as this man was leaving. The little girl's face lit up and she ran over to the man excitedly and wrapped her little arms around his legs. She looked up at him with the biggest smile and said, "Hi Santa!"

You should have seen the look of horror on the mother's face as she was begging her daughter to come back to her and get away from the man. God quickly put me in my place though. He showed me that the look on the mother's face matched the condition of my heart. I may not have outwardly displayed the feelings that she did, but I did on the inside. I quickly repented and even though this situation occurred eight years ago, I still remember this lesson well and think about it often.

Ladies, let's focus on being like children this week in our interactions with others. Especially those that are different then us.

Not Parenting 101

Based off of Jill's post the other day, I thought it would be fun to share some things that I have learned about being a parent. I am not an expert. Trust me. I am definitely not one of those moms who is handing out advice left and right, because I do not feel like that is my place. *See the tip below for dealing with people like this. This is just a little list of things that have helped me and I hope that they can help you...

#1-If you need your house to be messy, let it be messy. Trying to clean with kids is the equivalent of shoveling snow while it is still snowing. Pointless. I am not telling you not to pick up throughout the day but wait until your kids are in bed before you do any major cleaning. I don't know about you, but I would rather play with my kids for fifteen extra minutes then do a sink full of dirty dishes while they hang on my leg the entire time screaming for attention.

#2- Be quick to apologize. I overreact sometimes, like really overreact. One of my kids may spill something and I yell at them (as if they intentionally did it to make me angry). I use times like these to show my kids that even mommy makes mistakes. I tell them that I love them and I am sorry that I treated them in a bad way. This teaches kids that it is okay to make mistakes and how to handle them, when they do.

#3- Give kids choices. For as many things as I can (when time isn't urgent) I like to give my kids choices. It may be silly things like the shirt they want to wear or more important decisions like the main course for lunch. I want them to realize at an early age that they have a say in life. That they can think for themselves.

#4-Don't buy that toy for your kid. Seriously. Put it back on the shelf. I can not tell you how many toys my kids have (thankfully, mostly purchased by other people). The majority of them they don't even play with. What I have done with my kids is I will buy them things we can do together. Sometimes I buy them stuff to make cookies, markers, glitter, glue, paper, and things we can use to create. They enjoy the time together and it becomes a very special, memorable time.

#5-Sometimes it is perfectly acceptable to eat dessert first or throw a party or theme day for no reason. Kids have crazy imaginations and some days they may need to dress as a pirate or princess and eat cupcakes before dinner.

#6-One of the best pieces of advice I got was from my pediatrician. I was really stressed out because I couldn't get my son to eat anything. When my son was a baby he ate anything and everything, so this was extremely frustrating. My pediatrician said, "Give the kid a multivitamin. When he wants to eat, he will eat." I can't tell you how huge that was for me! Trust me, I want my kids to be healthy eaters but I believe it will work itself out. Food fights are not a battle we choose to have in our house anymore. Plus, I sneak spinach into my kids' smoothies :)

#7-So what about those rude people who feel like it is necessary to give unwanted parenting advice? I found that it is helpful to politely say, "Oh my goodness, I didn't realize I was holding your child, I thought this was my kid." It gets the point across quickly! I don't feel like this is the right answer for everyone, but these are for those especially trying people.

#8-Milestones. As we parent, we look to the next step in our child's development and tend to push them towards it. With my second child, I realized I needed to embrace her development and not compare her to other children her age. Each child is so unique and has their own path. Just as we shouldn't compare ourselves to other people, we should not do that with our children.

#9- Develop traditions. Traditions are an awesome way to set expectations with your kid. One of my favorite traditions is our bedtime routine with our son. We read "I'll Love You Forever" every night (which if you don't have that book, you must buy it). After we read, I ask Moses what he wants to say thank you to Jesus for. He always gives one ridiculously silly response and one deep one. It shows me what he values and cares for.

#10-Teaching my kids is important but it is more important to me that they know how to play. I use to get frustrated because my son couldn't remember colors. It seemed like the more we talked about them, the more he forgot what they were. One day, I realized that at some point and time in life he will learn what color is green. It really isn't that big of a deal. Now as we are building blocks he excitedly screams out the colors and I laugh about all the times that I got frustrated.

What are some parenting tips that you practice or have been valuable to you and your family?

Fire

This weekend at my work was really busy and we ran out of bar mops. (In case you don't know, they are cleaning rags kept around found prep areas to keep everything clean and sanitary). My first instinct was, we need these rags, so even if I have to wash them myself, that is what I am going to do. (usually our accommodations team washes them for us, but they weren't in) We have this area for guest laundry that is right behind our Coffeehouse, so I thought that would be the perfect place since it was close. I loaded up the machine, poured in the detergent and let them wash away. No problems. I came back and threw them in the dryer. As I was waiting, it was communicated to me that our accommodations team washes the bar mops a special way because they are flammable due to all the grease from our grill areas. Oh my gosh! I flew into the laundry room and sure enough there was smoke pouring out of the dryer and clouding up the building. Even though it could have been a bad situation, it ended up fine.

Why am I telling you this? I think our lives can look a lot like a bar mop. Along the way we may get a little tattered or torn. We pick up some of the dirt of the world as we go through this life. Sometimes actions, behaviors, or conditions of our heart, that can't always be seen by the human eye, make us ready to burst into flames at any given moment. They can be deadly to us. To our relationship with Christ. To our relationship with others. Given the right circumstances, word spoken to us, or the simple fact that we are continuing in sin, can cause us to burst into flames at any time, much like the bar mop. We must examine ourselves daily and see what "flammable" thing(s) we are allowing into our lives. We must pray against  temptations and weaknesses of our flesh. They usually start out small, and unseen like the grease, but over time they become larger and more destructible. 

Much like our accommodations team handles the bar mops, we need to be washed in a special way. We are delicate and fragile. We must come to our Father and allow Him to cleanse us. This is not meant to condemn you, but free you. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Much like I did that day, I pray that you examine your heart and life. If we want to be women that are pleasing to God, we must live holy lives. 



Keys.Locks.Life

Good morning. I hope that the beginning of your week is going well. My prayer is that your eyes are open to how God is moving in your life. Some seasons it can be very apparent {which is where I currently am} and others it can be a lot harder. Wherever you are, I encourage you to press on ladies! I had a different post in mind, but I was led to share something else. In the middle of the night my cell phone alerted me. I usually don't wake up for these things, but it must have been important. It was a ministry update from my former co-worker and friend Ash. She is currently doing The World Race in which she serves in 11 different countries in 11 months. She is currently in month 5 serving in Cambodia. Ash is an amazing lady who loves the Lord. She is full of life and is an inspiration to me. Her update spoke straight to my heart, so I thought I'd share it with you ladies:

It all came to me when I spent 4 minutes trying to unlock this door. 

The combination of the hot and humid weather, and me just biking there, made me feel super anxious to get inside to the one osculating fan in my classroom. 

You know what happens with keys and locks when you are impatient. I was trying over and over the 3 keys I have because they all look alike. "Nope not that one, okay not that one, it has to be this one. Really? Okay I'll try this one again. What the heck! Maybe it was that one. Are you kidding me right now!"

After 4 mins (which seamed like 10) of trying and trying, with sweat starting to run, I had to take a step back. 

It made me think. How often in my life have I thought I knew which key it was? When that didn't work I tried another one, then another one. Trying with my own will to fix the problem, to open the door to what I wanted, to get results by using my own logic and reasoning. 

God has been breaking me of myself. 

Reminding me that even though I want to do everything, sometimes I need to take a step back, take a deep breath and let God do the work. I need to hand the keys over instead of getting impatient and trying to do it myself. I keep thinking, no I've got it God. I can do this one, let me keep trying.  He keeps reminding me that I can keep trying but it might just be easier if I take a step back and let Him. You know that whole let go and let God? Yeah God is taking me through that again. It's not that I do it on purpose, I know God doesn't need my help, I just like doing things. But by me trying to "do things" in my own strength and my own will, I am basically being silly, standing there trying key after key after key when God is telling me "Ash...Ash, take a step back... I've got the key."

Pray that I can let go of trying to do things from my own strength and let God.

Love, 

Ash

This is so simple but true. I don't know about you, but I can relate. Are there any areas of your life that you know which key it is? Could God be asking you to let go? Please pray for Ash as she continues on her journey. If you would like to hear more of her story or track her progress here is the address to her blog ashgarcia.theworldrace.org



Fashion Diaries

Have you ever been inspired by an outfit of a celebrity, a friend, or maybe someone on the street? Or have you ever seen a single article of clothing and your mind races with outfit possibilities? Have you ever felt your mood change based on what you were wearing? Is there an outfit that you have seen that has completely challenged your perceptions of fashion? These things happen to me daily. I absolutely love fashion and how it can say so much and make you feel so much. I want to share with you some of my recent fashion inspirations.

Last week when I was in Vegas, my friend and I did a little window shopping at the Bellagio. It is basically the equivalent of 5th Avenue in New York. I saw this beautiful dress in the window of the Burberry store. I was taken back by the structure on the front of the dress. It is a little hard to see here, but is was so beautiful. I feel like the construction of this dress would flatter any girl. 

Photo Credit

Have any of you ladies checked out the Jason Wu collection at Target?! Amazing! I love it when Target does these affordable collections with incredible designers. {It is my prayer one day that Betsey Johnson will do one} Look at this dress.

The color scheme is brilliant and it is so fun and flirty. I could imagine wearing several different colored nylons with this and a fun pair of yellow shoes to match the belt. 

Something that has challenged my perceptions of fashion lately has been the pink and red trend. I remember seeing someone walking through our hotel lobby and thinking, "What is she wearing?" I stopped in my tracks and instantly goggled red and pink (remember how I told you I google everything?) to see if I was missing something, and sure enough it is a hot trend. Look at all these ladies in red and pink.

Sidenote: I LOVE Emma Stone

So ladies you are probably thinking, what does this have to do with me? Well to you, I say a lot.  Fashion is all around us. It is unavoidable. What you chose to wear is an expression of yourself. It says a lot about you and how you feel about yourself. I don't believe that you should spend a ton of money chasing after the latest fashions, because that is silly. I do think though, it is important to develop a personal style that makes you look good and feel good about yourself. There is nothing wrong with investing in your appearance (as long as it doesn't become an idol in your life). I also challenge you to take risks. Try something new and unexpected every now and then. The key to looking good is having confidence in yourself! I have heard so many girls say I could never wear that. If you believe that, then it is true because you were feel uncomfortable and people will sense that. So the next time you are inspired by an outfit or someone's personal style, take note and give it a try.

What are a couple of words that describe your personal style? What words do you wish described your personal style?

Respond in Love

I am convinced one of the keys to being successful in life is in the way we respond. There are some a lot of situations in life that we can't control. Often times, those situations get people down and they become victims of their circumstances. Don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of hard, ugly things in the world, some I have experienced and others I have not, so I don't want to come off sounding insensitive. However, I know that there is a God that is so much BIGGER than any of those things. I know that His love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8) This verse never said that love covers a multitude of your sins. It covers the sins of you, but also those who have sinned against you. It can cover the most evil things we can imagine (or don't have to imagine).

Where does that leave us? In our response. We can respond to our situations with anger, sadness, bitterness, hopelessness, unforgiveness, hate, jealousy, or pride (just to name a few). When we chose to respond this way, we are only hurting ourselves. I am not saying it is wrong to experience these emotions temporarily, but we must chose not to live in them. We must chose to allow God to heal our hearts of these things. To transform us to be people who respond in love. With the love of Christ. The type of love that is unconditional, everlasting. 

How does that play out in our day to day lives? There are many ways that this can look but I think that Colossians 3:12-14 describes it well, "Therefore, as God's chose people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I love how this verse says put on love which implies it is a choice. It doesn't mean that it is easy or that it doesn't require a conscious effort to love someone. It means we must chose to love someone through the filter in which Jesus chose to love us {wasn't that while we were sinners}? 

These verses are so challenging. They cause me to see my own weakness. They cause me to pray for change if my own life and heart. How do they affect you?

PS- If you haven't already, make sure that you read our Giveaway Post. This is the last day to enter. 

Viva Las Vegas

This past weekend I was blessed to have a Girls Weekend with one of my closest friends in Las Vegas. I know, I know Las Vegas?! We both aren't Las Vegas type girls, but a family friend of hers paid for the trip and it was incredible {despite being entirely opposite of our expectations, but that is a different story}. 

The whole experience really made me think.  Las Vegas is extremely overwhelming in every sense of the word. Every type of sin is staring you in the face: lust, gluttony, pride, love of money and material possessions, drunkenness, lies, adultery, etc. I got up early one morning and was sitting in our room that overlooked a good portion of the city. As I was praying for the city, the people that lived in it, and the people that visited, it hit me. Las Vegas is not different than any other place. Sure, the sin may be more noticeable and glamorized, but sin is everywhere. These people are just like you and me. They are broken. They are searching for the next thing to satisfy them and all of those things just happen to be contained in one place. 

I think that CS Lewis' Quote sums it up perfectly

We were not made for this world, but another. Nothing in this world is going to satisfy us. So often we search for things to fill the void in us, that can only be filled through Jesus until we make it to our true home, Heaven. Paul talks about this in Philippians 3:20, "For our citizenship is in Heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ;"

So ladies, let's not give up and settle for temporary satisfaction but continue to hope and pray for the true satisfaction that we will experience one day. 

What are some things that you may be using to temporarily satisfy you? Are those things getting in the way of your relationship with God?

Love and Healing

Have you ever had a moment when you thought, "That really didn't happen, did it?" I recently had one, a BIG one. This story is extremely personal, but I believe by being vulnerable about it, it could provide healing for some of you.

Last week I was flying home to attend a funeral of someone I loved dearly I was sitting in my seat with my daughter on my lap and my jaw almost hit the ground when I saw who boarded. No ladies, it wasn't the glam Tyra Banks. It wasn't the amazing designer Betsey Johnson. It was the wife of my ex-fiancé and their children. The girl that he got pregnant when we were suppose to get married. This is something I am completely healed of but this is the first time I saw her since all of this happened eight years ago. A flood of emotions came back all at once.

The thing that stuck out to me the most was the contrast of how broke my heart was eight years ago when this happened compared to where I am at now in my life. I couldn't help but praise God for how he transformed me and healed me.

For a very long time I was angry, depressed, and hated all men. I didn't trust anyone and was convinced I would never love again or get married. To say the least, my heart was hard. I acted out of that hurt and hurt others. I would go on dates just to be able to reject the person at the end.

When I decided to lift my eyes up to Jesus instead of focusing on all the way that I had been wronged, he started the process of healing my heart. It was a long, slow road. It involved many setbacks and tears before I came to peace with it.

Today I am married to the most wonderful Godly man. He loves me well and always offers me grace. I trust him completely and I know he will always protect my heart.

First, I want to speak to the broken hearted ladies. Don't give up on love. Always hope. Allow God to heal your heart. Don't blame yourself. Lift you eyes to the greatest Comforter and allow him to soften your heart. It will be painful at times, but will produce wonderful results.

The next thing is for the married ladies. If you have a wonderful husband, be thankful for him. Let him know how amazing he is. Pray for him, your marriage, and your family. Support him in his ministry and be his biggest cheerleader. Be quick to forgive and to apologize.

What Type of Shoe Are You

I absolutely love this quote! I love how something as simple as a shoe can be magical at times. Shoot, look what a pair of shoes did for little Miss Cinderella. There are days that I am feeling blah and I throw on my favorite pair of red leather cowboy boots with sparkly buckles and I suddenly become more confident.  However, it really isn't the shoe that is magical, the key is how we view ourselves. 

My closet is full of many wonderful shoes:

Metallic Green Stilettos

Round Toe Pumps

Two Toned Open Toe Wedges

Classy Black Heels

Red Leather Cowboy Boots

Floral Wedges

Cream Kitten Heels

Lime Green and Pink Tennis Shoes

Polka Dot Rain Boots

Some of you are probably thinking, What does her closet have to do with how we view ourselves? We are all like the shoes in my closet. We are all created uniquely with different purposes. It would be silly of me to jump in mud puddles {which I totally recommend doing whenever possible} wearing my Metallic Green Stilettos. However, that is so often how we view other peoples' gifts and talents. We take their uniqueness and want it for ourselves; in turn, we so easily overlook what makes us stand out. Ladies, learn to embrace yourself for the way that you were created and live it out. If you are a pair of Metallic Green Stilettos go out there and shine! 

Will You Pray With Me?

Recently a friend shared a story with me regarding marriage and prayer that her friend had experienced. The implications of it were eye opening to me and have caused a change in my life. It is my hope that the story will impact you as well.

This girl was on the plane heading home from vacation and started a conversation with the people next to her. They were talking about where they had been and what they were doing there. She was shocked as the men openly shared with her. They told her once a year they attended a retreat type event  in which a lot of people gathered. The purpose of the retreat was to appeal to the devil for pastors to have affairs that would ruin their lives, the lives of their families, and their ministries. Think about that for a second...that is pure evil. When I heard this I thought immediately of John 10:10a, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy." This definitely sounds like the work of the enemy to me. 

Luckily as Christians we know there is a second part to that verse John 10:10b, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus is here for us. For our marriages. For our families. For our part in the advancement of His Kingdom. He wants us to bring all things to him in prayer. Like I mentioned before, this story impacted me. It made me realize that I do not prayer nearly enough for the important relationships in my life. If there are people that can gather to wish evil for my life, you best believe I need to battle them in prayer. It is just like Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

So ladies, will you commit to joining me this week in prayer for our husbands, significant others, and church leaders?

Seasons of Life

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven-" Ecclesiates 3:1

A girlfriend of mine and I were discussing stereotypes of Christian women the other day and I thought that I would share some insight based on two categories: marriage & babies.

Marriage


Let me start by saying I got married young and am very happily married. What makes me sad is the fact that this is an expectation of most young christian women. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you are not married by a certain age or if you aren't dating someone. Just like this verse says, there is a season for everything, so single ladies, live it up! The last thing that you will want to do is look back on your season of singleness and have regret. Travel. Figure out who you are. Set goals for your future and start accomplishing them. Work multiple jobs and figure out what you are passionate about. Develop deep friendships. Volunteer. When you are married and have responsibilities these things become a lot harder to do. {My intent is not to make marriage sound hard but once again different seasons have different characteristics, good and bad}. Also, don't settle just for the sake of getting married. Marriage is such a huge commitment and shouldn't be taken lightly. Wait on God and His timing (if marriage is even part of His plan for you).

Babies

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. We all know this song. As young girls we are taught it. So naturally, right after you get married, the baby questions pop up. Surprisingly early too. I am not saying it is wrong to have a baby right away, to each his own, but to put this expectation on people is crazy. Allow people to make these decisions on their own time and inform you when they feel comfortable.  Recently I was watching The Help and there is a quote that made me laugh. The mom is talking to her daughter and says, "Your eggs are dying. Would it kill you to go on one date?" Most of the time we are not this direct with people, but we may as well be saying that. I beg you to learn from me --> I have put myself in really awkward situations by asking people about babies. We don't know the battles people are fighting and they can be unable to conceive and we once again remind them of the pain that causes.

Let us remember that God has different plans and purposes for all us. Some will remain single, while others will get married. Neither of these is good or bad. Don't get caught in the trap of defining yourself or others by their relationship status. Let your relationship with Jesus define you. Make an effort to encourage others in every season of their life.

Have you ever experienced an awkward situation mentioned above? Any thoughts on this topic?

Count Your Blessings

To provide a little context for this post we are going to explore a morning in my life...

I rush into the downstairs office to make sure that I don't miss our weekly prayer meeting. The contents of my hands/arms are: coffee (an absolute must in my life), an envelope full of cash for a vendor, a gift and gift bag for a friend's baby girl, an application for car insurance, a cashier's check for said car insurance, work keys, a new job description for an employee, my wallet, my to-do list for the day on a sticky note, and breakfast. After I gracefully set dump everything on my friends desk I sit down. I realize I am alone (with the exception of said friend). I think, "Perfect, I am early!" That wonderful thought is ruined by my friend asking why I didn't make it to our prayer meeting. I wasn't early, I missed it all together. She comforted me and pointed out all the stuff that had been placed on her desk. She said, "Josie, you have so many things going on. You are trying to run a household, while being a good friend, while working, while trying to take care of yourself..." I took a deep breath, gathered my belongings and headed on with my day. Later that night, I reflected on our conversation.

I, like most women, have so many roles to fulfill. Child of God. Wife. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Co-Worker. Pet Owner. Dishwasher. Bill Payer. Chef. Maid. Full-Time Employee.  If you are anything like me, you want to fulfill these roles with excellence but most of these things require a lot of time and intentionality and it can seem daunting. Even though most of these roles bring us joy, we can be left feeling drained by them. So what is a girl suppose to do?

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When I am feeling this way, I stop and pray. I know that is really simple but it works. I thank God for the overwhelming happiness I am filled with as a wife and mother. As a mother I know that the time will go by so quickly and I don't want to lose any moments. I thank God for my job and the way that it enables me to bless so many people and the part it takes in advancing His Kingdom here on Earth. I thank God for the fact that I have food to wear and clothes to eat so that I have to cook and clean. I stop and thank God that I have money to pay my bills. If I don't have all the money, I thank God for an opportunity to see Him work in my life.I stop and thank God for all the relationships in my life because I know that they stretch me, they fill me with joy, and they embody everything that is significant to me in this life.

What is a role that you are struggling with lately? What is a role that you need to dedicate a little more time to?

Here is a verse to mediate on this week with all these things in mind, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Friends Forever

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one that falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart." 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I love how this verse describes friendship. It is vital. It is a connection between two people and God. It withstands adversity. When I read this verse I can't help but think about the wonderful women in my life that God has blessed me with that fall into this category. Unfortunately, I feel as if our culture has watered down what true friendship is and what it looks like.


Follow me for a second... We live in a culture where your "BFF" changes as often as your nail polish color. Where people are your frenemies. Really? You can be someones friend and enemy all at the same time? Where celebrities have reality shows titled, "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." Need I say more? 

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So what should friendship look like? We can look to the ultimate friend. John 15:12-13 "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." So what does it look like to lay down our lives for our friends? {other than the obvious implication of dying for someone, which most of us will never be faced with} It means sacrificing our time and energy for our friends. It means praying for them (not just saying that you will pray for them). It means giving more than taking. It means being vulnerable and transparent with the messiness of each others lives and sharing in that together. It means being uncomfortable at times. 


These verses challenge me to be a better friend and my prayer is that they will challenge you as well. 

Live.Laugh.Love

Josie